Motivation

Lately, I’ve been giving a lot of thought to personal values, goals, and, specifically, motivation. In my work, I have always followed where my curiosity leads and felt the desire to focus my attention on that which is meaningful to me, then turning that attention into art, storytelling, and connection. I love to research and learn, so, ultimately, my curiosity generates motivation. My goal is always to make meaning from personal experience. What does this mean? What is the story here?

My interior paintings originated from my experience of caring for my babies; canoes from a longing for northern Manitoba; the grandmothers from old family photographs and the loss of my father; and the portraits of women from a response to larger social and historical questions. I am motivated by making things that mean something…and by connection and collaboration. I painted portraits of women whose stories I wanted to honour. I care deeply about literature, community, art, and culture. During one interview in my studio, the writer commented that though I worked in solitude, she felt that there seemed to be an implicit someone on the other side of the work.

I have come to recognize that this work is about more than self-expression, as I hope to connect through this expression. At the same time, I am motivated by learning and energized by being a beginner, as frightening as that can be on occasion. My current 5-year project is a deliberate attempt at creating a structure that forces me to slow down, observe, return, notice, change, and learn over time. I am motivated by discovery.

Autonomy is an important part of my process as I value doing the work of honouring people, preserving stories, encouraging others, contributing to community, creating beauty, provoking thought, and making people notice something, but all on my own schedule. I want to leave something lasting and valuable behind. When external measures become the point, I can lose the joy; when the work becomes the point, I come alive again.

Art allows my busy mind to become present and experience peace rather than being stuck in judgement and analysis. It gives me the opportunity to be fully engaged with life, even though it is done in solitude. I notice, wonder, learn, make, connect, tell stories, and keep going. It is in honouring this need that I feel most myself.

If I were to describe what motivates me, it is curiosity and connection. I am filled with an innate desire to pay close attention to the world and to transform what I discover into something meaningful, beautiful, and, hopefully, useful to others.